Are you in a relationship (or starting a relationship) with a guy who's bad for you? How can you stop feeling attached to someone when you're in an unhealthy relationship (even an abusive relationship)? This video will walk you through 4 steps to take so you can break free from an unhealthy relationship and find REAL happiness again.
Boundaries are misunderstood.
A lot of people think boundaries are about making the other person do something.
Or they think if they set a boundary the other person is supposed to respect it and that’s that.
But that’s far from what boundaries are or how they work. If you’re in an emotionally abusive situation, you’ve figured out that the other person is going to do what they’re going to do. It doesn’t matter what you say.
Boundaries aren’t about controlling someone else. They’re about controlling yourself.
Here are three keys to making boundaries work, why thy work, and how they can help protect you against abuse.
Key #1 Get clear on what…
Living with a narcissist is like living in hell. No joke. In fact, one of the women I coached said it was like being in a cult of one. She was the only member and he expected to be treated as god.
Narcissists have inflated senses of self-worth that comes from a fragile ego. Now, some experts debate if that’s the case or not, but from my experience that’s exactly what’s happening. Narcissists most often become narcissists because of childhood trauma involving not feeling good enough, not measuring up. In some way they were told by a parent or other prominent adult in their life that who they were was not good enough.
As a result of internalizing that painful message, they have vowed to never look weak, feel inadequate, or feel worth less. And when I say worth less, I separate those words for clarity. They hate feeling worth LESS. ANY hit to their worth makes them feel attacked. The slightest action or thought or opinion of yours that in any way interferes with their ego feeling safe will be met with swift retribution.
They will never allow themselves to feel that childhood pain again so any time something even approaches a scintilla of closeness to it, they freak out. And that’s why you keep getting in trouble for everything that you do that doesn’t involve worshipping them. That’s why you…
This quick clip from our online course will help you understand why leaving an abusive relationship can be so difficult. If you have experienced emotional abuse (or narcissistic abuse) you know firsthand how hard it can be to escape. One of the reasons is because, when you try to leave, your partner begs for you back and promises to change.
I’m going to share with you five must know signs of emotional abuse. These are great tip offs to let you know if you’re in an emotionally abusive situation.
Most people in an abusive situation don’t know if/that they are. It takes a while to piece everything together because abuse is SO insidious – it starts slow and is hard to spot. It’s like the analogy with frogs in a pot of water. If you put them in a pot of hot water, they will immediately try to jump out. But if you put them in cold water and slowly turn up the heat, the frogs don’t notice what’s happening so they don’t jump out.
Abusive situations are like this. It’s so hard to recognize the reality. When you do recognize what’s wrong, it’s hard to piece together exactly what it is. So here come 5 must know signs of emotional abuse that can help you understand what abuse is, what it looks like, and help you understand if you might be experiencing emotional abuse.
Sign # 1 Nothing…
Have you been told by your significant other that you remember things incorrectly?
Have you wondered if you’re going crazy because your recollection of how something happened is often different from what your partner says happened?
Or perhaps you’ve tried to bring up something your partner did that hurt you and instead of discussing it, they turn it around with something like, “How can we talk about that when just last week you did what you did,” or “Oh, so now we’re going to talk about how garbage I am? After all I’ve done for you!”
This leaves you wondering if you should have even brought it up AND you feel badly for doing so because of their scoffing answer.
If you’ve had experience like these, you may have been experiencing something called gaslighting. Gaslighting is where…
As I work with people in toxic relationships, it’s clear that most traditional relationship advice and counseling doesn’t work in those situations and is actually counterproductive, doing more harm than good. This is not a dig at my very skilled and caring counselor friends doing their best. Rather, it’s a reflection of the hidden, ugly dynamics at play in a toxic situation when you’re dealing with a relationship bully.
Let me explain…
Intimate partner violence (domestic abuse) is an issue that affects both women and men. Research indicates that 1 in 4 women in the United States and 1 in 7 men will experience intimate partner violence at some point. Staggering numbers.
Often, the abused partner has a difficult time leaving the relationship and even after they’ve left will get questions like, “Why didn't you leave sooner?” “If it was that bad, why did you stay?”
If only it were that easy.
An abusive relationship is totally incomprehensible to anyone who has never experienced it. It doesn’t make sense that another human being would act the way the abused person describes the abuser to be acting, so they just figure the abused person is exaggerating or did something to bring the abuse on themselves.
The following article will bring clarity to anyone who wonders, “Why did you stay so long if it was so bad?”
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“I know why women stay” This is what my friend said to me…
